Easy Post

So, I know that it is a cheap way out of actually writing a blog post, but I'm going to post these to comic strips anyway. I was only going to post the first one, because I think it is fucking great. Then, I saw the second one and had to post it for all of the (2) journalists that read my little rantings. (Click on the pictures to make them bigger)











That is like when we would try to blame Pothead for something when we all lived at 1000K. He never really denied anything, but would sort of just disappear. Now we know that he was hiding in his closet.

Helper

This is my helper monkey. He smokes. His name is Zeb, and sometimes he throws poop at cab drivers and tourists. Most of the time, he is fine, but sometimes he gets in trouble and has to go sit in the corner. I can't leave him there too long, though, or he'll start coloring on the walls.

I think that most helper monkeys are suposed to do things like get you beer and fold laundry and stuff, but mine doesn't do any of those things. He will ony get beer for everyone else when he is getting another for himself, and he can't fold laundry without complaining about carpal tunnel in his opposable thumbs.

Overall, he is pretty worthless, but I keep him around because I think its funny when cab drivers get poop thrown at them.

Equity Structure High

It's 11:30 PM, I'm working through docs for a crazy complex cutting edge equity deal, and I have hours to go before bed, but I'm feeling pretty fucking good right now.

This must be what it's like for my journalist sister when she discovers a new verb or something.

Now where did they hide the coffee?

Ragin' Repubs vs. Damned Dems

My brain has been in vapor-lock for the past couple of days, so picking topics to post on here has been about as easy as fitting your elbow in your ear. In any event, Eeds had a blog idea for me: In a tag-team wrestling match between Bush/Cheney and Kerry/Edwards, who would win?

I was supposed to argue the point with her tiny friend Sarah (http://www.xanga.com/sarahqc) -- with me obviously promoting Bush/Cheney and the little democrat promoting horseface/ambulance chaser.

However, since (1) Sarah has not yet posted anything about it and (2) I'm pretty disappointed in all politicians right now, I will only devote the following few comments to the argument:

W and the Big C would take down horsey and babyface like Ali schooled Foreman in Zaire. The fight would probably be delayed while the jackasses decided who should be the first fighter and who should wait at the ropes, but once it started, the only time anyone would be talking about "Blue States" is when describing the color of the bruises covering Kerry/Edwards. Shortly after the second round, the Bush/Cheney win would be solidified when Kerry predictably changed his mind, declared that in fact he was not in the fight but instead was diametrically opposed to the conflict, and went to his corner to cry and to fantasize about Nancy Pelosi in spandex. Left to his own devices, Edwards would fold quickly in hopes that at least one person on the medical team treating him after the fight would be worth suing.

Topics from the Sister

Evidently, if I don't post anything for longer than 72 hours, very bad things happen--angles cry, fairies lose their wings, Coke comes out with "C2" again, Smirnoff Twisters become the official drink of the NFL. Anyway, Eeds has demanded that I put up a new post on one of the following topics:

"Why the world would be a better place if our adult selves could go back in time and talk to our high school selves."

Or -

"The top ten best words I've made up since graduating from law school."

I initially like the first one. About the high school elves. Then, I read it again, and it was about high school selves, and that kind of dropped it down on the fun meter. All I'd tell my high school self is to break more rules, go ahead and fight, date more girls at one time and drive faster. Not really going to improve the world. However, talking about the high school elves, especially during this festive season, would have been a good topic. Those little fuckers toked it up like big dogs, and the last time I saw them they were gluing stuff to the ceiling. Pitty that isn't the topic.

The second topis is better, because it shows that Eeds has finally accepted my position that anyone with an advanced degree can make up words at will. However, if I listed the words that I've made up, then people would know for sure that they are not real words. Ultimate secrecy is the only way to preserve my vernacular superiority.

So, looks like both of Eeds' topics completely tanked. Pretty poor, considering the quality of topics that I gave her (including "15 things to do with string", "6 reasons to run over things" and "Santa Clause and Other Communists". See them at www.eeds22.blogspot.com).

Oh well. Maybe I'll post something tomorrow.

120 Second Entry

Can't think of anything to write today, so I'm going to do a 120 second entry. Once that second hand gets around to 12 twice again, I'm done. Work is busy, but not crazy busy, but lately motivation has been an issue. I like what I'm doing and all, but I think I'm ready for a break. Like a week away from everyone. No people around at all. That would be nice. It isn't that I don't like people, it is just that sometimes they piss me off. That is kind of wierd since I live in downtown i the third most populous city in the country. Oh well. Argh.

Hooray For 4 Walls and a Ceiling

The wife and I signed the contract yesterday to buy the condo. We will close in June after renovations are finished. Now all we have to do is pick out what renovations we want and sit back and wait. Aaaahhhhhh.

Here is what we bought:










Here is about what it cost us:









(if you really want to check out the place, go to www.474lsdcondo.com)

Football = Candy + Shoulder Pads

What a great weekend for football.

First, Texas and USC beat the ever-loving crap out of Colorado and UCLA and proved that the Rose Bowl is going to kick ass. This is the closest two teams have statisticly matched up, um . . . ever. Going to be a great game in January.

Then, the Bears ground down the Packers at Soldier Field (4 blocks from my house) and improved to 9-3. If they ever get any offense going at all, they are going to be on the Wheaties box. An added bonus was the Chiefs beating the Broncos. I've hated the Broncos since Elway was there. Any team that would take a chance on Maurice Clarett deserves to get smacked upside the head.

Also, ESPN confirmed that K-State did not actually play football this season. It was all just an illusion. In fact, Snyder is returning next year, and the team is expected to be in the top 10 in pre-season rankings. The rumor is that something similar happened at Nebraska.

Where The Hell is Tinkerbell?

Just in case Tinkerbell flies in my window tonight and throws some pixie dust on me, I figured I'd better have a list of happy thoughts ready so that I'll be able to fly. Here they are:

1. Automatic weapons.

2. Beer.

3. Boobs.

Well, that ought to about do it.