Plugs and Such

I, WHBH, being of semi-sound mind and and the body of a fricking god, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, and anyone who brings the national media into the situation should be immediately shot in the ass.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for a steak, a beer, the remote control, a new gun or an explaination of why democrats continue to act like fucking idiots, it should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct Pothead, Pappy, Snot or HD to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

############

Seriously, the wife and I argue about this all the time. I say that if I was going to be permanently brain damaged, but would still remember that I used to be smart, I'd just as soon they pull the plug. Life like that would be shit. No problem if I'm going to lose arms, legs, etc. or be paralyzed or something, because it isn't like the Olympics are knocking on my door anyway. Now, if I wouldn't remember anything, and I still had the capacity to do some stuff, that would be ok, too. I think life as a parking lot sweeper or trash man or democratic party strategist would probably be ok.

Just a random thought.

Olympic Spirit

Fucking idiots.

If it isn't our speed skaters (Henrick and Davis) refusing to congratulate each other and taking cheap shots in the media every time they get a chance, it's a dumb fuck, show off snowboarder (Jacobellis) hot dogging it on the last jump of a gold medal run, crashing, and ending up second. Or, maybe we can take pride in that ass hat Bode Miller, who was the glory boy supposed to win 5 medals who has yet to place higher than 4th and consistently fucks up (he also called Lance Armstrong a cheater, which should be reason enough to leave his ass in Italy).

It's just sad. There is no Olympic pride exhibited by our athletes, and there sure as hell isn't any back here in the US. Fuck, if I'm going to watch some showboat exhibit everything that is wrong about sports and sportsmanship today, I might as well watch the NBA or read some more about dumbshit Ricky Williams toking it up.

The US Olympic Committee should provide chaperones for all of its athletes. Someone to stand beside them with a taser who can just shock the fuck out of them when they are about to do or say something stupid.

Media: (to Henrick) How do you feel about fellow American Shani Davis winning gold?

Henrick: I won a gold, too. I don't think taht Shani is a good teamma. . . ZAP!!!

Peppered

Pothead put up a good post yesterday about stupid people and their response to the VP peppering his lawyer hunting buddy. (I think there should be some punctuation in that sentence. Not hunting lawyers, but buddy was a lawyer. Whatever.) Certainly, hunting is a dangerous sport. What with all of the animals coming right for you and everything. Still, it blows my mind how people have absolutely no grasp of what bird hunting is all about. I take the time to learn about their fucking interests (unions, hugging trees, sailing (like boating, but without a motor), other hippy-type shit). They could at least educate themselves about hunting. Either that, or they could just shut the fuck up.

My comment to Pothead's post yesterday:

You want to talk about hunting accidents? We should talk about forgetting fucking trolling motors or sleeping in fires. I guess those were more about fishing. How about permanent hearing loss? (I'm still sorry about that.) How about a fucking concussion because captain idiot didn't bolt the seats in the suburban down?

Other injuries: Snot's bruised ribs from rolling over the ball hitch during evasive action. Multiple stitches from trying to move sharp rock to get truck out of mud. Fatal embarrassment from accidentally telling all of your friends your are gay. [Pothead, circa 1999: "That would be like me saying I never had a gay homosexual experience . . . . . In my ASS."] There just is no response for that. Black Jimmy getting all scarred up. Cumulative hangovers equal to approximately seven cherry bombs simultaneously exploding behind your eyes.

Still Have A Little Left

Some Tim McGraw . . .

I don't know why I act the way I do
Like I ain't got a single thing to lose
Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy
I guess that's just the cowboy in me

I got a life that most would love to have
But sometimes I still wake up fightin' mad
At where this road I'm heading down might lead
I guess that's just the cowboy in me

The urge to run, the restlessness
The heart of stone I sometimes get
The things I've done for foolish pride
The me that's never satisfied
The face that's in the mirror when I don't like what I see
I guess that's just the cowboy in me

Girl I know there's times you must have thought
There ain't a line you've drawn I haven't crossed
But you set your mind to see this love on through
I guess that's just the cowboy in you

We ride and never worry about the fall
I guess that's just the cowboy in us all

Math

I was working on a deal the other day, and we were working through some of the purchase price adjustment calculations with opposing counsel. One of their partners asked a first year associate, "If I were to give you $250,000, minus 13%, how much would you take off?"

Her reply:





"Everything but my earrings."



I love my job.

Umm . . that might not be the best approach.

Ray Nagin is the mayor of New Orleans. After the hurricane, the democrats started looking at him like he might be the next glory boy for the party. Then he started talking crazy about his "chocolate city" and sort of spiraled down into the depths of "I'm-talking-and-I-can't-shut-up" idiocy.

Here are some excerpts from the Reuters story today:

NEW ORLEANS (Reuters) - Shortcomings in aid from the U.S. government are making New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin look to other nations for help in rebuilding his hurricane-damaged city. . .

Jordan's King Abdullah . . . visited New Orleans on Friday and Nagin said he would encourage foreign interests to help redevelop some of the areas hardest hit by the storm. . .

"France can take Treme. The king of Jordan can take the Lower Ninth Ward," he said, referring to two of the city's neighborhoods.

Not too sure that the right approach here is to give the king of Jordan control of redeveloping the Ninth Ward. And given the billions of US money already pumping into the city, isn't the better idea to use it and then ask for more (like congress could say no!)?

Seriously, if you are the democratic party, how fast are you running away from this guy? He is like a republican's dream opponent. If the dems run Hillary and this idiot, I think the republicans might go ahead and run Bush again.

Work

Seven thousand little green badgers were chasing me to work this morning so I pulled out my crossbow and tried to shoot them, but there were too many and I thought I might be in really deep shit, but just then 36 clones of MC Hammer came in and did the hammer dance on them and kicked the little green badgers over the bridge into the Chicago river, but then I found out that they weren't really badgers, but were actually walruses in disguise and I could tell that because they ate the penguins that were on the Chicago police boat going down the river and I thought it was weird that the penguins were on the police boat but then I saw a newspaper that said that a ring of radical penguins had been arrested as enemy combatants for trying to turn the Sears tower into a huge icecream cone, and I figured that the penguins on the boat were probably being deported to someplace warm and I wondered that if I went back to speaking only spanish if they would deport me somewhere warm like Tennessee, but that probably wouldn't work because I don't like Orange.

AND, someone ought to kick the writers/producers of "Grey's Anatomy" right in the junk for making the stupid fucking episode following the Super Bowl a to-be-continued-pile-of-shit. I don't even like that fucking show, but watched to see the "code black" which consisted of a hot chick and a bomb. Nice, but not that fucking nice.

Peace Plan

Getting kind of tired about all the liberals/foreigners bitching about my country. Fuck them. Like Merle said, "if you're running down my country, man, you're walking on the fighting side of me." Came across this "peace plan" somewhere, and although I don't necessarily agree with all of it, it offers some things to think about, and covers lots of the shit that has been pissing me off lately.

Just another happy Friday.

PEACE PLAN

1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good ole boys", we will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave.We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal. France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, food, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

State of Politics

President Bush delivered his State of the Union speech last night. I didn't watch it, because it makes me sick to see the political cheerleading and posturing that happens on both sides of the aisle, but I did read it this morning. Overall, it was what I expected. Vague, yet clearly positive. Powerful, but without any substantively moving content.

The best statement the President made was as follows:

"Yet there is a difference between responsible criticism that aims for success, and defeatism that refuses to acknowledge anything but failure. Hindsight alone is not wisdom. And second-guessing is not a strategy."

This goes the very essence of what is wrong with American politics today, and, to me, exemplifies why Americans are losing faith in the democratic system and our elected representatives (at least at the federal level). I am sick of baseless partisan attacks that criticize without offering any solutions.

Closing Thought: They kicked that fucking liberal puppet Cindy Sheehan out, but let the bomb-sniffing dog stay in. I think that is great.