Dovey, Dove, Dovealicious.

Where oh where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here with no guns? I searched the world over and landed in Chi-town, but there are no doves here, no guns and no fun.


Kansas Dove Season Opens September 1st. Needless to say, I will not be blasting the hell out of the little fuckers for yet another year. Maybe I'll get lucky and my bus will hit a pigeon on the way to work Monday -- just something to tide me over until pheasant season.

I have a beautiful wife, a perfect baby girl and a big fucking new house, but if I don't get to go dove hunting next year, I'm calling it a wash. Seriously, only hunting 3 or 4 days a year is no way to live.




P.S. I used the phrase "It's nut-cutting time" yesterday on a call. Highlight of my legal career so far.

Hippies.

I gave peace a chance. Then I chambered a round.




If I don't shoot something soon, I'm going to go nuts. Fuck.

Congratulations. You are a Dickhead Scholar

According to ESPN, Pat Summitt, the Lady Vols' coach, endowed a $100,000 scholarship in honor of her parents -- Richard and Hazel Head. A great gift, but perhaps "The Head Family Scholarship" or something would be more appropriate (or at least less likely to make people laugh at the awards ceremony.