Helper Monkey Update

The sister was asking about how my Helper Monkey was doing, since I haven't mentioned him for awhile. For all I know, that little bastard is off somewhere smoking banannas and kicking over little kid's sandcastles. Two weeks ago, that son of a bitch took all of the change out of my change jar on the dresser and ran out the door screaming something about a lock on something or other in Vegas. Four days later I got a post card from Cabo with a bunch of his monkey scratchings on it (he can talk but can't write), and what looked like a receipt for $50,000 from the MGM Grand. I'm guessing he used his pirate/mob connections and found out about some rigged bet and cashed in. Either way, the fucker didn't send me any money, so fuck him.

He was trying to unionize the helper monkeys in the area anyway, so it was pretty clear our relationship was going to have to end. I operate a right-to-work thing here, so I don't deal with unionized monkeys.