Elevator People
On the list of things that suck about the city, right below tourists and just above crackhead cabbies, are elevator people. Elevators are significantly sucky in their own right, but are only a minor pain in the ass. The elevator people are much worse.
1. Pushed the wrong button guy. This idiot accidently pushes 53 and 54 before remember that he actually has to go to 51. Of course, you are going to 55. Fucker.
2. Space-cadet girl. Not sure if the shiny box with the open doors is an elevator or not, so waits 30 seconds or so before getting on. Spends the entire ride staring at the glowing numbers with glazed over eyes and then when she gets to her floor, she looks around at everyone else to see if they are getting off. If not, she figures it must be hers, and after another 30 second decision making process, gets the fuck off.
3. No concept of personal space guy. Pretty clear why this guy is an asshole. Hey, dumbass, there are other places for you to stand that don't involve you touching me.
4. Cell phone junkie. Believe it or not, cell reception sucks when you are totally encased in metal. Doesn't matter how loud you talk or how many times you repeat yourself.
5. Aren't we fun twins. Generally, but not always girls. During the summer, probably tourists. Insist on talking at twice the necessary volume about how much fun they are and how everyone had such a good time with them at lunch/the bar/etc.
6. We can fit guy. Sees no problem at all with cramming way too many people in the elevator rather than waiting 2 minutes for the next one. Makes jokes about sardines or something to hide the fact he is a dumbshit.
1. Pushed the wrong button guy. This idiot accidently pushes 53 and 54 before remember that he actually has to go to 51. Of course, you are going to 55. Fucker.
2. Space-cadet girl. Not sure if the shiny box with the open doors is an elevator or not, so waits 30 seconds or so before getting on. Spends the entire ride staring at the glowing numbers with glazed over eyes and then when she gets to her floor, she looks around at everyone else to see if they are getting off. If not, she figures it must be hers, and after another 30 second decision making process, gets the fuck off.
3. No concept of personal space guy. Pretty clear why this guy is an asshole. Hey, dumbass, there are other places for you to stand that don't involve you touching me.
4. Cell phone junkie. Believe it or not, cell reception sucks when you are totally encased in metal. Doesn't matter how loud you talk or how many times you repeat yourself.
5. Aren't we fun twins. Generally, but not always girls. During the summer, probably tourists. Insist on talking at twice the necessary volume about how much fun they are and how everyone had such a good time with them at lunch/the bar/etc.
6. We can fit guy. Sees no problem at all with cramming way too many people in the elevator rather than waiting 2 minutes for the next one. Makes jokes about sardines or something to hide the fact he is a dumbshit.
posted by White Hat Black Hat at 8:55 AM
1 Comments:
I had no idea that there was such variety to the type of people who piss you off.
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