Preparedness and Kentucky
Today in her blog, eeds (http://www.blogger.com/profile/4005141) said "For me, it's that feeling that something is horribly wrong and there's nothing I can do outside of prayer and monetary donations," in regard to her feelings about Katrina's aftermath across the Southern Coast.
I think that one other thing that people can do is to prepare themselves for future disasters by putting together survival kits, learning about the emergency plans in their area and just generally educating themselves about how to react and to survive in the event of a disaster. In all seriousness, the lives that would be saved by this preparedness would be a tribute to the lives lost and the lessons learned from Hurricane Katrina.
So, eeds, Pothead, Pappy, Heath (how come you never got a nickname?), Snot, Captain Idiot and assorted other minions and monkeys, in the event of fire, hurricane, tornado, nuclear disaster, terrorist attack, swarms of mosquitos, bad smells, attack penguins, low oil or running out of whiskey, you should proceed immediately to Pothead's house in Kentucky. That will be the staging area, because it is in the middle of all of us, it gives Heath and Snot the greatest possible distance to drink and drive the backroads, there is a lake and lots of game around and the collective intellegence of the population is so low that we should have no problem at all establishing ourselves as warlord kings of the state.
Pothead, you are in charge of all other preparations. Start filling up the giant bladders of gasoline.
Pappy, you are in charge of getting yourself there and not being a virgin when you show up. There is no room for virtue in post-apocolyptic Kentucky.
Snot, you bring the Shitzhu dogs. You know why.
Heath, beer, firearms and ammunition. And turkey calls.
Captain, you track down trolling motors. A whole shitload of trolling motors.
I'll be in charge of the mercenaries and missionaries.
Since preparedness is dependent on practice, the first drill will be conducted tomorrow. Pothead, tell your wife to buy some extra Ranch, b/c there are going to be some extra people for dinner.
I think that one other thing that people can do is to prepare themselves for future disasters by putting together survival kits, learning about the emergency plans in their area and just generally educating themselves about how to react and to survive in the event of a disaster. In all seriousness, the lives that would be saved by this preparedness would be a tribute to the lives lost and the lessons learned from Hurricane Katrina.
So, eeds, Pothead, Pappy, Heath (how come you never got a nickname?), Snot, Captain Idiot and assorted other minions and monkeys, in the event of fire, hurricane, tornado, nuclear disaster, terrorist attack, swarms of mosquitos, bad smells, attack penguins, low oil or running out of whiskey, you should proceed immediately to Pothead's house in Kentucky. That will be the staging area, because it is in the middle of all of us, it gives Heath and Snot the greatest possible distance to drink and drive the backroads, there is a lake and lots of game around and the collective intellegence of the population is so low that we should have no problem at all establishing ourselves as warlord kings of the state.
Pothead, you are in charge of all other preparations. Start filling up the giant bladders of gasoline.
Pappy, you are in charge of getting yourself there and not being a virgin when you show up. There is no room for virtue in post-apocolyptic Kentucky.
Snot, you bring the Shitzhu dogs. You know why.
Heath, beer, firearms and ammunition. And turkey calls.
Captain, you track down trolling motors. A whole shitload of trolling motors.
I'll be in charge of the mercenaries and missionaries.
Since preparedness is dependent on practice, the first drill will be conducted tomorrow. Pothead, tell your wife to buy some extra Ranch, b/c there are going to be some extra people for dinner.
posted by White Hat Black Hat at 8:32 AM
3 Comments:
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We will be very prepared. I'm bringing the end 'o the world box and some beer-dispensing helmets.
Heath is in charge of stocking the end 'o'the world box with firearms.
on a side note - wouldn't it be funny if Heath worked for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms?
Moving on - did you know that in response to the Hurricane Katrina deal people are placing computer chips in their dogs so they can find them in the event of an emergency or natural disaster.
I guess the idea is that collars and stuff fall off.
So basically all I have to do is show up? I need another job, or it's going to be a really boring trip to Apocalyptic Kentucky.
In response to eeds comment about dogs with locator chips in their ears: The owners are going to be in for one hell of a surprise when they locate the rotting carcass of what used to be their dog.
Pappy
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