The Way Things Ought to Be
I'm posting this entry even though it sucks. I need to keep writing on this fucking thing or I'm going to give it up, and then I'd have to go back to spraypainting parked taxi cabs to take out my frustration.
The way things ought to be:
1. Mandatory fishing breaks from 1 to 3 pm every other day.
2. No more shitty things happening.
A neighbor back home just had a farm sale. Over the past several years, he's worked to try to keep things together -- he took a job in town and tried to farm in the evenings and on weekends, he sold off land a little bit at a time, he leveraged, borrowed and delayed as long as he could. Now, the farm is up on the auction block. I'm not sure I can think of anything worse than going through a farm sale. It isn't just the loss of a business or some property. It's the loss of a life. It is the resignation and ultimate accepance that things aren't going to get better, and a way of living that has been going on in your family since time before time is over. It upsets me, because I realize that no small or middle sized farm is immune from folding anymore, if they ever were.
3. You should be allowed to shoot sporting clays off of your balcony or deck if you promise to try not to hit anyone who doesn't deserve it.
4. Busch Light should be free, and Coke Zero should be banned.
5. It should be a perfectly valid explaination of anything to say "90 percent of the time that is the way it always happens".
6. You should be allowed to kick hippies, but only if you warn them first.
I'm not for just straight out kicking hippies. Sometimes, they don't realize that they are being hippish, so that wouldn't be fair. Before booting their ass into the street, you should have the common courtesy to ask them if they realize that being smelly, stupid and dreadlocked is no way to go through life.
7. People who dress like thugs should be shot. Probably in the leg, so that they have a real reason to limp like that.
I need a fucking haircut.
By the way, I'm coming back to Manhappiness for the OSU game in October. I will be at Chance from about 5:30 Friday night to 2 am Saturday. Then, if I'm not at the tailgate, I'll be somewhere along Moro telling the little freshman how much better we used to do it when I was there. Do what? Fucking everything.
P.S. Sometime, when you have some extra time, call Pothead and ask him to explain the egg breaking industry. Fascinating.
The way things ought to be:
1. Mandatory fishing breaks from 1 to 3 pm every other day.
2. No more shitty things happening.
A neighbor back home just had a farm sale. Over the past several years, he's worked to try to keep things together -- he took a job in town and tried to farm in the evenings and on weekends, he sold off land a little bit at a time, he leveraged, borrowed and delayed as long as he could. Now, the farm is up on the auction block. I'm not sure I can think of anything worse than going through a farm sale. It isn't just the loss of a business or some property. It's the loss of a life. It is the resignation and ultimate accepance that things aren't going to get better, and a way of living that has been going on in your family since time before time is over. It upsets me, because I realize that no small or middle sized farm is immune from folding anymore, if they ever were.
3. You should be allowed to shoot sporting clays off of your balcony or deck if you promise to try not to hit anyone who doesn't deserve it.
4. Busch Light should be free, and Coke Zero should be banned.
5. It should be a perfectly valid explaination of anything to say "90 percent of the time that is the way it always happens".
6. You should be allowed to kick hippies, but only if you warn them first.
I'm not for just straight out kicking hippies. Sometimes, they don't realize that they are being hippish, so that wouldn't be fair. Before booting their ass into the street, you should have the common courtesy to ask them if they realize that being smelly, stupid and dreadlocked is no way to go through life.
7. People who dress like thugs should be shot. Probably in the leg, so that they have a real reason to limp like that.
I need a fucking haircut.
By the way, I'm coming back to Manhappiness for the OSU game in October. I will be at Chance from about 5:30 Friday night to 2 am Saturday. Then, if I'm not at the tailgate, I'll be somewhere along Moro telling the little freshman how much better we used to do it when I was there. Do what? Fucking everything.
P.S. Sometime, when you have some extra time, call Pothead and ask him to explain the egg breaking industry. Fascinating.
posted by White Hat Black Hat at 6:42 PM
1 Comments:
Solid posting. Glad you're back at it. I think it will really cut down on your spray-painting related expenses. Plus, your pointer finger won't be black anymore.
Some thoughts:
#1: You can fish and I'll just sit in the boat with my toes in the water.
#2: Well SHIT.
#3: I think we should also be allowed to tie rope ladders to our balconies. It would work for me, since i'm on the second of two floors. Not so good for you. You'd have to have a REALLY long rope ladder. Maybe you could just get repelling gear...
#4: If Busch light was free you'd never get anything done. This is like saying "play station should be installed in every office."
#6: Is this how tolerance looks in your world? Thank you for warning my friends before you kick them. If you ever kick me I will kick you right back. Then I will tell mom. Bah!
#7: I think we should use slingshots on the thugs instead of guns - but I agree about hitting them in the leg. Why slingshots? they are more fun.
Can't wait to see you for OSU. I plan to take lots of "steve is drunk" pictures, make them into a collage and give it to you for your birthday. It should be promiently displayed at all times.
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