Dove Hunting
I've decided it is probably time to seriously reexamine my life. Dove season opens September 1st in Kansas, and for the sixth consecutive year, I will not be sitting on a cooler on a pond dam and saying things like "it was coming right for me, so I had to shoot it" on opening day. Instead, I will be in some sort of crazy foreign land (although Chicago is slightly less crazy and foreign than the little hippy-protester villiage of Ithaca, NY), and will probably be at work. Maybe, if the wife has something else to do and I am not invited by the grace of God, I will be able to find some dove hunting show on ESPN 7 or OLN.
In any event, on September 1, no matter how shitty your day is going, even if you wreck your car, burn down your house, put down your dog, find out you weren't really adopted and that your family really is your own, even if you think things cannot possibly get any worse, just remember: I am not dove hunting. That, I am quite certain, will make you recognize how much worse things could be.
Also, I thought I'd point out that in Kansas snipe season also starts September 1. So, even though I always thought that snipe hunting was really just a joke you played on people, evidently, the little bastards really exist. Will wonders never fucking cease?
In any event, on September 1, no matter how shitty your day is going, even if you wreck your car, burn down your house, put down your dog, find out you weren't really adopted and that your family really is your own, even if you think things cannot possibly get any worse, just remember: I am not dove hunting. That, I am quite certain, will make you recognize how much worse things could be.
Also, I thought I'd point out that in Kansas snipe season also starts September 1. So, even though I always thought that snipe hunting was really just a joke you played on people, evidently, the little bastards really exist. Will wonders never fucking cease?
posted by White Hat Black Hat at 10:52 AM
5 Comments:
"Snipe hunting is physically challenging because hunters wade or slog through often mucky areas to flush snipe. Just getting off a shot is difficult at times because it’s hard to keep from falling down while swinging the gun in response to their erratic, fast flight."
I think real snipe hunting would be more fun to watch than the version we know of.
Also, you get points for putting three links in two sentences.
P.S.
You could sit on a cooler in your living room, open a window and shoot at pigeons. It's kinda the same. Plus, if you say you were TRYING to hit the PIGEONS, I'm sure the police won't arrest you.
Hunting is always more fun when you can use the phrase "just getting off a shot is difficult at times". Many of our hunting trips involved the phrase, generally followed by "because the window wouldn't roll down" or "because Pappy's big bohemian head was in the way".
Pigeons are flying rats. They suck.
Lets meet halfway this weekend and shoot some Illinois doves! We can meet around Springfield and drive around until we find a farmer to let us shoot over a pond.
Captain,
If Illinios dove are anything like Lake Michigan fish, we should probably stay as far from them as possible. Not saying we shouldn't blast them, just that we shouldn't pick them up.
Pretty sure I saw a 3 foot long glowing carp in the lake the other day. Probably not the most healthy thing out there.
Federal game wordan would probably frown if we only picked up our beer cans.
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