Frank at Home Depot is a Slack-Jawed Idiot
The condo is finally starting to look like a home. The in-laws came up over the weekend and helped put up curtains, replace all of the lighting and replace lightswitches and outlets (the switches and outlets were covered in paint from before the renovation, so they sucked and were ugly). Lots of Home Depot runs. Learned how to replace electrical stuff, wire lights and all that shit, so feeling pretty do-it-yourself-ish. That is kind of cool.
Also was interesting to learn that the farm technique of "hit it with a sledge hammer and curse until it works (and if that doesn't work, heat it with a torch and then hit it)" doesn't necessarily apply to fixing up a house. Probably a good thing, because the wife wouldn't let me bring my torch to Chicago anyway.
Nice part about owning a place is that everything is yours. Shitty part about owning a place is anything that is scratched, slightly imperfect or just not quite right is yours. Learning to deal with that. Current plan is to ban any and all guests, stand only in the kitchen, eat every meal out and sleep at a hotel. That should keep everything nice.
I'll get some pictures up once everything is in place. Expect them sometime in early July. 2008.
Also was interesting to learn that the farm technique of "hit it with a sledge hammer and curse until it works (and if that doesn't work, heat it with a torch and then hit it)" doesn't necessarily apply to fixing up a house. Probably a good thing, because the wife wouldn't let me bring my torch to Chicago anyway.
Nice part about owning a place is that everything is yours. Shitty part about owning a place is anything that is scratched, slightly imperfect or just not quite right is yours. Learning to deal with that. Current plan is to ban any and all guests, stand only in the kitchen, eat every meal out and sleep at a hotel. That should keep everything nice.
I'll get some pictures up once everything is in place. Expect them sometime in early July. 2008.
posted by White Hat Black Hat at 11:25 AM
4 Comments:
"Current plan is to ban any and all guests, stand only in the kitchen, eat every meal out and sleep at a hotel. That should keep everything nice."
The funniest part of this paragraph is that I'm sure something along these lines actually crossed your mind as you surveyed your new domain.
You're going to end up as one of those couples who makes everyone take their shoes off OUTSIDE, has your couches covered with plastic and keeps the little hand-held vaccumm cleaners in every room.
I can't wait until you have kids who I will make sure LOVE KOOLAID.
What about Frank?
Captain
Did Vern the Fern make the move? He probably sheds all over your nice new floors...
Frank is the guy who works in the lighting department.
wait for it.
wait for it.
He's not the brightest bulb in the bunch.
Actually, it took him a day and a half to find 2 light fixtures in the warehouse. They had 28. Once his manager got there, it took about 4 seconds.
Also, Sarah, glad to hear that you are concerned with Vern. There is clearly some sort of cosmic connection between you and the fern that is bigger than you.
Anyway, he likes the new place. He has the northwest corner right between two windows, and he spends his evenings hoping that one of our neighbors will again forget to close the blinds after getting out of the shower.
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